BLACK FRIDAY

FROM FOX NEWS:
"Black Friday took a grim turn when a New York Wal-Mart employee died after bargain hunters broke down the doors to the store, pushing him to the ground.
The 34-year-old male employee was pronounced dead an hour after shoppers breached the doors to the shopping center in Valley Stream, Long Island, about 5 a.m. Friday and knocked him down, police said.
"He was bum-rushed by 200 people," Jimmy Overby, the man's 43-year-old co-worker, told the New York Daily News. "They took the doors off the hinges. He was trampled and killed in front of me. They took me down too ... I literally had to fight people off my back."
A 28-year-old pregnant woman was also taken in for observation and three other shoppers suffered minor injuries during the incident, police said. The pregnant woman and the unborn baby were reported to be OK, said Sgt. Anthony Repalone, a Nassau County police spokesman"


I won't shop on Black Friday. I spent too many years working RETAIL on that ominous week day.

The above mentioned TRUE STORY is beyond ridiculous. Can you imagine the commentary given to spouses when some of the 200 hundred shoppers returned home?

"Honey, I got that 42 inch wide HDTV you wanted...oh and the winter coat Sarah needed. I saved 20% too! Yeah, it really was a brutal mad-dash through the doors though, I think I might have stepped on the Walmart employee --- he should have moved the heck out of the way!!! ....the receipt says we saved $52 dollars and 47 cents.....I did good...didn't I honey?"


What are we, as a nation of very blessed people, doing??? Shouldn't we all step back a minute and ask ourselves that question? It sure enlightened me to the irony of the holiday ---- get your Turkey with all the trimmings and you mustn't forget to trample that man on your way into the store.

Saving 20 or 30 percent is now the going rate on human life?

GOOD BLACK FRIDAY TIDINGS OF GREAT JOY!

...WHAT MAKES ME ANGRY????

I feel the need to cuss really loud right now. Yep, just need to let a word rip into the cosmos! I received a phone call Monday night from my big brother. His ex-wife had just had surgery WITHOUT letting anyone know. Why? Not wanting anyone to worry, she allowed a half-dollar sized lesion to go untreated for a good amount of time. I had heard of this ugly thing on her shoulder well over a year ago. Turned out to be a rather large Basal Cell Carcinoma. She also had to have some type of lesion removed from her leg and I am told there will be future lesions to address on her face! If you know me, you're already aware of the fact that I lost my BF (Kimberly Jennings) about 6.5 years ago to Melanoma. That sucked!

Even with the belief that Kim is in heaven with Christ --- IT STILL FREAKING SUCKS!

My sister-n-law of 22 years has had alot of hard-core stuff bombard her for the last three years or so. It hasn't been a cake-walk. I know I've tried repeatedly to encourage her to pull herself up by her bootstraps and walk forward, but for some people, its just an insurmountable mountain to climb. She isn't like me. Won't catch her blogging her guts up for anybody to read --- she's somewhat stoic and stubborn. She also tends to avoid things that really should NOT be neglected --- these lesions being a physical manifestation of that very trait. Hence, I have been mulling this over in my head going on three days now. Should I pick up the phone and let her have it --- STUPID! IGNORANT! PIGHEADED! GRRRRR! Or let it go (so much like alot of my family) and pray to GOD she didn't let it fester so long that it grew inward and connected to her lymph system.
I have held my peace but this is my sister. Doesn't matter that she is no longer recognized by the courts as such. She is and always will be --- family. We wore matching candy-cane stripped footed pajamas and cowboy hats. We endured family vacations together and fought as if we were blood. She is valuable and very much loved by her three daughters and my brood. But I am beginning to wonder if she really believes that about herself. I'm beginning to wonder if she has just been whipped to the point of not giving a crap about the outcome of this 'dermatitis' as she so callously called it.

This brings back the memories of Kim and the awful struggle she endured. This makes me want to beat my chest and rail against the women who lay their bodies down into a tanning booth coffin for that 'oh so creamy glow.'

STUPID! IGNORANT! BURNT from the inside out! Please just say NO!

And while saying no --- learn the warning signs of skin cancer. Don't neglect it. Your skin is ONE ORGAN of the body. Do you get that? It can attack anywhere --- even inside your bootycrack and other glorious regions. So take your hand held mirrors and get a good long look at yourself. Closely. Don't be bashful --- be vigilent. And learn the ABCD's of Skin Cancer.


A- Asymmetry: You should notice the general look of your moles or growths, for example, if one-half of the mole or growth does not match the other half.

B- Border Irregularity: Notice if the edges of the mole or growth are ragged, notched or blurred.

C- Color: The pigmentation of the growth is not uniform. Shades of tan, brown and black are present. Dashes of red, white and blue add to the mottled appearance.

D- Diameter: If the width is greater than 6 mm (about the size of a pencil eraser), it could be an indicator of an abnormal skin growth. Generally, any new mole growth should be a concern.

I have no idea what prognosis my sister-n-law is facing. Don't even know if she'd really tell us the truth --- so as not to worry anyone. So pray for her. God knows her name. And if you hear a vile word echoing through the neighborhood, that will probably be me.

FORGIVE me ahead of time.

A NEW HOPE

This is a brand new day for the country we call home. GMA announced this morning that 61% of white America voted for the black Senator from Illinois, Barack Obama, to become the 44th PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. History was made as our citizens voted in record numbers and overwhelmingly catapulted this man into the most powerful office in the world.

Regardless of what ideology you believe in, democracy did in fact rule the day. I don't know what will come tomorrow, but I know WHO holds tomorrow in HIS hands --- and those aren't Barack's hands I'm talking about. A few months ago I heard many people in this nation rise up against a female VP candidate because her home church dared to lay hands on her and state that GOD had called her for a time such as this. I didn't sweat it ---- because I believed that too. Just as I believed that God himself sets and establishes the leaders of our nations. To make that statement requires that you rest in the knowledge that WHOEVER WINS THE RACE is, in fact, CALLED to lead ---- and for a purpose greater than their own.
Incredible, isn't it? I mean what if I don't agree with his ideas, what if he infringes on MY RIGHTS? etc., etc., etc......

Psalm 48: 9 holds a nugget of truth from way back in time. It reads:

"FOR ALL THE KINGS OF THE EARTH BELONG TO GOD."

All kings. Not just the ones I happen to like or agree with. Chew on that for just a moment. If you happen to believe in God, it should give you a peaceful pause. If you don't believe, it should momentarily make you wonder, what if?.....

President-elect Barack Hussein Obama was born for this season and at this time in the history of mankind. We should all stand with him in this endeavor and pray for him as he steps forth to lead this nation in the world we reside in. I don't care if you like him, agree with him or think we've made a grievous error. I care that you now lay aside the rhetoric, roll up your sleeves and work for the betterment of all mankind --- our brothers and sisters. Where is the harm in that? What will it hurt you to PRAY for him? Maybe your not a believer, you say? I find that ridiculous, you believe in something --- start there. Pray that this CHANGE doesn't disappoint you. Pray that the man sitting next to you at work who vocalized out loud 'he can't believe the people voted a _____ into office' will find some conviction and enlightenment.

Yes, bigotry and racism still exist today.

Pray that President-elect Obama can continue to ignite a fire in all people to be citizens full of compassion and mercy. That doesn't offend you, right? I mean that's a good enough jumping off point, isn't it? It seems a good enough place to start for me.

Let me be one of the first citizens to say, President-elect Obama, I congratulate you and promise to pray for you that you will be established in wisdom as you lead this nation GOD has entrusted to you. It's a big job, I certainly HOPE you are ready for the task.

KETTLE CHIPS OR GRAPES?

Ah, the complexities and struggle of this everyday girl. What should I do? RUN, that's what I should do. Run all the way to our local YMCA and work my arse off. But that wouldn't be near as much fun now would it? NOPE. Because Kettle Chips are sinfully good and really really crunchy. I like the crunch --- actually I LOVE THE CRUNCH. They're salty and satisfying like nothing else. The only thing better? Hot buttered popcorn with some chocolate covered almonds. But wait. I'm not at a movie. THAT'S only permitted at the movie theatre.

The kettle chips are here. NOW. Calling my name.

I'd like to say they poured themselves out on my square little plate but that'd be a lie. A BIG, FAT LIE --- a sin. And then I'd have to add that to the list of the other sins I'm already guilty of.


What to do.....

What to do.....

What shall I do?......


Kettle Chips or Grapes. Grapes or Kettle Chips.

Haha! I know.......


BOTH!



This conundrum brought to you by a middle aged mother of three who doesn't suffer from secretary spread. No, she suffers from bloggerbigarseitis. Not to be mistaken for laziness or underachievement.

Teens And Sexuality

TEEN SEXUALITY!?
Why on earth would I want to blog about that?!! Here's why, I have three teenagers who are living on planet earth. A daughter who is in a serious relationship where the word marraige is being tossed around. How can I not talk about it? It's one of THE most important topics any parent on this planet should be willing to discuss, face to face --- with their kids! It's more important than the upcoming presidential election I dare say. So let's get to it.

Here are some of the sobering statistics I just reviewed:

Nine million new cases of sexually transmitted infections among 15- to 24-year-old. youth;

Five thousand new HIV infections among 13- to 24-year-old youth;

Estimated 750,000 pregnancies among U.S. teens;

125,000 abortions among U.S. teens; and

435,000 births among 15- to 19-year-old women

Are you still breathing? Or did your head hit the desk when passing out. I love my kids so very much and I believe they are capable of making good, sound decisions --- MOST OF THE TIME. I am also a parent who has raised their kids with a goal of 'waiting' until marraige. (Abstinence). But I have had that thought challenged by the mere 'facts' of this life we are living.
Upon one of my first visits to their high-school, I was shocked to see a 9th grade, very pregnant young girl, waddling into the school's office for early dismissal because her baby daddy was picking her up for her OB appt. It really shouldn't have shocked me so much because when delivering my now, almost 18 year old son, the young woman in the very next room screaming for her mama was a mere 14 year old child, giving birth to her own baby! Staggering isn't it? Don't misunderstand me, waiting is the best choice. In my oppinion, it's the right choice. But that doesn't mean my teens are going to make it --- their choice.
And that my friends is where the rub exists. We are challenged to train our children in the way they should go. But often we struggle with releasing them, at the proper time, and allowing them the to CHOOSE FOR THEMSELVES. I can hear some of you cringing. Afterall, if you allow your young adults to choose --- they may choose wrong, right? Yep. that is a distinct possibility. And then, how would you look to your God fearing friends???? And what if the unthinkable happens and you are faced with a blossoming young adult who is diagnosed with an STD or an unexpected pregnancy? Hmmm, it's just easier keeping them locked up inside the closet in chains, right? WRONG! I have come to believe that it isn't anyone elses responsiblity to teach my young adults to be responsible. It isn't the school's job or even our church's job. Yes, I want them to have input, but ultimately, they won't be footing the bill for an unplanned grandchild or the skyrocketing cost of prescription medication --- I will. And the cost WOULD be very high.

So what's a good parent to do? Do we refuse to offer protection because that implies we condone the behavior? Do we try to stay in the 'dark' so we don't have to deal? Do we teach our sons to repeat the Pledge of Allegiance when their hormones override their better judgement? Do we shelter our daughters so they never have to face temptation? That might work --- UNTIL COLLEGE. You see, the bottom line is parents like to 'believe' they are always in control ---truth is, we often aren't. Young adults have many covert ways to out-wit and to out-smart their parents. I know alot of us think that we are soo much more sophisticated than our folks were but I believe we can look back and see this as a recurring theme with each generation. Parents eventually find out but it's often after the fact. And then it's too little --- too late.

The bigger question. Should we choose to be courageous, helping our young people understand our parental expectations, encouraging them to wait, but preparing them in case they choose their own path? I think I'm gonna side with Dr. Drew Pinsky and my own OBGYN. I want the young adults in my house to feel safe enough to confide in me --- even if they already know I'm not gonna like what I hear. I do NOT want to bury my head in the sand where this subject matter is concerned. This is hard stuff. It puts a knot even in the strongest of parental stomachs. But teenagers have sex. Sometimes they have alot of it. It may not be what you want for them or what you believe in --- but it happens!

So be courageous. Spend some time talking with your young adults today. And make it count.


http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/PUBLICATIONS/factsheet/fsest.htm

"Sex....with Mom and Dad." Hosted by Dr. Drew Pinsky, MD.
Check your local MTV affiliate for showtimes.

A ROAD DADDY AND A BIRD!

As some of you may know my husband drives a bus. Not any old Greyhound bus, but the million dollar coaches associated with the music artists of today's rock and roll, pop, country and even gospel scene. He is an A-list driver who has worked for Britney Spears, N-Sync, Faith Hill, Wide Spread Panic and here for about the last four years, Lynyrd Skynyrd, to name just a few. I am privy to some back-stage spoiler but like a good wife, keep my lips closed and just nod my head like I care. LOL. Artists seem to be cut from the same narcissistic cloth, its just the way they roll. Anyway, I digress so let me get quickly to the point. Occasionally, Arnie will have a really great story. And this past week he had me close to peeing my pants while driving. Let me recount this as best I can.

2 am and the bus is rather quiet.

Arnie is driving (or flying at about ** miles per hour) down a dark desert highway with Sparky, guitarist for Skynyrd, sitting up in the captains chair listening to Arnie drone on about loving his wife and kids. (okay so maybe that isn't what they were talking about but --- don't kill my joy!)

Anyhow, out of the corner of my husband's keen eye, he saw a dark shadow zoom by and then it happened.

BAM!!! *&%!!!!!

Husband recalls his heart nearly stopping and his shorts getting wet.

Sparky lept into the entrance well turning around and around in circles doing what I refer to as the dooky-dance. You know the one where your kids run in short little circles holding their hand over their butt cuz they're gonna drop one but can't seem to get to the bathroom???? Yeah that's the dance.

In addition to the circles, he continuously mumbled and then shouted out some passionate word that takes no imagination, but rhymes with truck! Apparently, the dancing lasted a couple of revolutions as Arnie had to ask him if he was okay. Eventually he was --- after his heart rate settled down. The large OWL bit the proverbial road dust. Poor bird, he was probably just looking for a branch to perch on but ended up meeting his maker.

When the rest of the gang awakened in the am, finding the damage to the driver's side wind shield, they were amazed. After all, they commented, "we didn't even feel you swerve!" Husband answered them, "that's because I didn't!"

Isn't that the best? Those are the stories I live for. I met my husband nearly 20 years ago while he drove for the group I was touring with. He is an amazing driver and takes his job very seriously. I guess that's why he's ALWAYS asked back. He can be little irreverent at times but he's also one of the most hard-working and loyal men I have ever met. He's had me in stitches more times than I can count --- LOVE HIM!!!

So glad this bird's aim was little too high. Because I want a life-time more of those funny moments.

All joking aside. It really could have ended quite badly.

A HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN!

This was the hardest secret we have EVER kept in our house.

We had to schedule Savannah's birthday celebration on a Sunday due to a work conflict. Consequently, she thought we actually had NOTHING planned.


(Typical teenager, right?)

Truth is, we had this in the works and were hoping it would have the desired effect....

IT DID!!!!!

YEP! I'M A KID AGAIN......

Yesturday I received a phone call that turned me into a kid again. One of my friends called to tell me she had just left Claire's and noticed they had Patrick Dempsey barbie dolls and asked if I she should pick one up for me.

"Seriously?....let me think a minute......ahh, YES!"

She started to laugh, as only a true friend would, and then turned her car around to head back to the store she had already left. SWEET! Within 20 minutes she arrived with my prize and we both giggled like we were 12 years old. Ahh, I am blessed with the most loyal of all friends.

As you probably imagined, Greys Anatomy is my one true vice, or as my teens like to tell me, my crack addiction. They humor me as I pull back the layers to the plot like a crime-scene investigator on CSI.

Yep, I'm that kind of fan. I examine this show like the very best pathologist --- 'colors, motivation of the characters, what episode does it link us back to? Will Meredith and Derek ever get it right?' Those are the thoughts and questions that whirl around my head after watching this show. I know there are people who think I have lost my mind, or what's left of it, after all, its just a television program. But I say, "Oh really, I suppose Jane Eyre was just a book. Hmmph!"

The fact is, Greys Anatomy is layered with characters who are deeply flawed though filled with heart. They often exhibit the best and worst of humanity. They make choices that I most definitely would NEVER make for myself. But they also move me to FEEL something. I see that even in the screwed up mess the characters have often created in their lives, there is beauty to be discovered in their triumph and lessons to be gleaned in their failures. (There is also Dr. Derek Shepherd aka McDreamy. LOL)

There is an underlying theme of grace in this show --- of learning to love those who get it wrong more than they get it right and of course --- of learning to forgive when someone has painfully and willfully rendered undeniable harm.

It's an awfully complex little television show, my Greys Anatomy. I'm not one to answer the phone on a Thursday night, so remember that. And please don't hate me for it. The show will come to an end in a couple of more seasons and Seattle Grace Hospital will be no more. I will have to watch Mr. Dempsey race cars for his hyper-sport team or pay the $8.25 ticket price for the latest movie he stars in.

But until then, I'll keep my Thursday night Greys appointment --- and my Patrick Dempsey barbie doll! LOL

NECESSITY IS THE MOTHER OF ALL....

Ughhh! When will it EVER stinking end!!?? No matter how many times I ask for the dirty clothes to be brought to the laundry room, I find myself walking into my kids hazardous habitats only to be greeted by the stench of their dirty clothes and filthy underwear. You would think since one of my kids, who shall remain nameless, cannot use a towel twice --- (since the idea of using said towel on his face that once wiped his just showered butt is just..... 'ewwwwwwww' ---[oops] ) that he would actually WANT his filthy stinking undergarments WASHED!

I don't know, maybe this is just happening in my little corner of my little world and you ---whoever you might be --- cannot relate at all. But there are days when the thought of washing and then folding one more garment of clothing drives me to want to drink! And I don't mean a cup of overpriced Starbucks coffee or a Diet Coke! It is also a sad but simple truth that my kids do not greet their freshly washed clothing, or their mother, with chants of "you are blessed, you're so great mom, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!" As a matter of fact, after the monotonous washing and the folding, I sometimes have to plead with them to actually put their clothes away! Funny, right?

In any event, I am reminded that --- necessity is the mother of all invention. Once upon a long, long time ago, women had to use a wash board and lye soap to clean the family's garments! Laundry was a back breaking chore that often took HOURS to complete. Someone, probably a woman ---or better yet--- a husband who was sick of his wife's drinking habit, determined it would be highly beneficial to all of mankind to --- invent the washing machine. Hmmm, necessity brought man invention. And many happier women.

So instead of complaining:

I will joyfully load up that GE Washer and thank Thomas Edison for bringing electricity into my home.

I will accomplish this task in very short order, which is why I am able to sit here and BLOG about my kids and their dirty underwear!

I will stick to drinking coffee and Diet Coke and stay away from the hard stuff!

I might even decide to invent something --- how bout an implanted micro-chip that gently shocks a teen-ager whenever their dirty dainties hit the bedroom floor!

Ahhhh, now that would be a Pulitzer Prize winner.

Shock and Awe

Take just a moment to observe this incredible picture taken of some star system far, far away.

What does it make you feel....

Small and insignifigant?

Do you ever take time to marvel at the fact that our world is perfectly suited to our very existence?

Do you take it for granted,

Expecting it to always be.....

I feel something when I gaze upon this image

Power like the turbulent ocean.

Majesty like a blazing red sunset.

Glory that is blinding white.

Chaos that is......control.

I feel like God does NOT reside inside my square little box.

What do you feel.....

Sunday Monday

Sunday.

The day I attend Church.

To cleanse.

To enlighten my heart and mind with ideas that are bigger than ME.

Lofty goal.....

Especially when it ends with a throw down between my two female off-spring that would give the WWF a run for its overpaid, over hyped money!

Here is the reality of my day of rest. The text read: "...You better tell your favorite daughter to back off or I will jump her right here right now and rip her hair out and stuff it in her mouth....."

Wooohooo ---- that was so full of Jesus wasn't it?

Thirteen and near 16 years old often mix like oil and water. You can take them places together ---- and often watch the fireworks ignite.

The younger sister thinks the older sister is the favorite. The older sister believes the younger one is because in her mind ---- baby girl gets away with everything.

(not true)

Mother gets drawn into the fight and 16 year old gets mad at her!!!!!! What???

I spent over two hours sorting through the emotional mind field of my girls. Both cried. But only one called UNCLE. The sender of that ominous text asked for forgiveness. Receiver allowed herself to be hugged but didn't want to reciprocate. Ughh!

Mother considered running away!

When I was pregnant all those moons ago, rubbing my over-inflated belly, I imagined what they would look like and sound like.

Dark hair?

Blue, green or brown eyes?

Would they be artistic?

I really had no idea there would be days like this. Sure, I had siblings ---- brothers. But somehow in the wonder lust of love, while building a life with the one I CHOSE to create family with ---- I FORGOT!!!

I often remind my girls that God intentionally put them in a family ---together! This didn't happen by accident but with design and with intent!

There are moments though --- when I wonder if God's intent was to drive me to the funny farm!



Monday.

Week begins at a rapid pace.

Jaelyn walks down the stairs to retrieve book-bag.

Mother hears her say, "bye Gregg, love you .... love you, Savannah."



Mother waits.....

Savannah's reply, "love you too JJ."

Mother decides NOT to run away. :-)

Piper is a BOY!

Well now I know I was never meant to be a farmer or a VET.

Upon taking our new and unexpected rescued kitty to the vet for her very first check-up, we learned that --- SHE was a HE!

Piper is a boy!

OOOPS!

Well at least it doesn't require a name-change. Right, Piper?

CODE RED!

It was a very interesting Monday. Upon arriving at Smyrna High School, Savannah's lunch in hand, I took note of the 10 Smyrna Police squad cars that also pulled into the parking lot. I immediately began to referee a war of thoughts inside my head --- something is seriously wrong VS. this must be a drill." Within moments it was clear that this WAS NOT A DRILL when I spotted the two armed police officers just inside the entrance. I whipped out my cellphone, dialed Ron Alley, and asked him to alert the church staff --- and to have them pray. Having no idea what was occurring inside the school walls, it was the only pro-active action I could think to take. I then picked up my husband and quickly headed back to the school.

It was then that I received the first text message from Gregg which read, "WHOAAA!!!" (That must have been the moment the teachers were instructed to lock -down and the students were told to get under the desks.)

Well, the above is NOT the kind of message a mother wants to read when there is potential danger to her son and daughter! It stirs up all kinds of anxious ideas, especially when compounded by said daughter NOT RESPONDING to mom OR brother's texts. Ughh!

21 minutes later Savannah finally let me know she was alright. Unfortunately, my husband and I both learned, at about the same time, that there was a SEVERE OUTSIDE THREAT to the school! GULP!

It is astounding what occurs within the human female psyche when bombarded by fear.

Heart rate increases --- CHECK.

Breathing becomes rapid and shallow --- CHECK.

Blood pressure increases --- CHECK.

Husband has to remind wife to BREATHE --- CHECK!!!!!

Does it sound exciting? Yep, to some it might. When Gregg and Savannah arrived home and shared with me their own experiences of the day, we managed to find the humor in the events that they encountered. For instance, Gregg realized that the janitorial staff needs to step up and get better at mopping the floors. Savannah was offered the arms of a boy interested in holding her --- if she was scared! LOL. She said no --- but then he proceeded to ask her out to dinner! Huh!?

So, let me get this straight, while I was facing down a mother's fear --- my son was finding the humor in a dirty floor and my daughter was being hit on! Hmmmmm.


Is there a life lesson in there somewhere???

CANCER S__KS!

A wonderful thing happened to me recently. I stumbled upon the FACEBOOK application and decided, on a whim, to give it a try. I created my homepage, which isn't nearly as MYSPACE complicated, and started the search. I found old friends that I had attended elementary, junior-high and senior high-school with. INCREDIBLE! There was one friend, in particular, I had just recently began thinking about --- ALOT!. Her name was Kimberly. She was a red-headed spit fire --- the only child to a very successful attorney and stay at home mom. Her daddy was a trip! The kind that would get in the pool with you and wrestle --- till you nearly drowned! It was all in good fun though. He grilled, he swam, he played Marco Polo and he encouraged. He and his wife just opened their home to Kim's friends and welcomed them. I loved that family alot.

Kim and I found a separate 'click' to hang with mid-way through our junior year of high-school. Consequently, we lost touch. Her dad passed away from cancer while we were both finishing our time at Miami Palmetto Sr. High. She went one way and I the other. But these last few months, as I've wondered what ever happened to her, I have known, in the back of my mind, that GOD has a way of working out the details.

And lo and behold......

Kimberly is living in Atlanta, Georgia. Married for 19 years. She has no children unless you count the dog, Charlie!

Another thing I discovered? CANCER.

She was diagnosed with early stage breast cancer this year. I'm sure you can surmise the rest. Lumpectomy, Radiation and TODAY --- SURGERY.

If you feel lead, would you please PRAY for this lovely woman? I don't know what her beliefs about God or heaven are, but I do know --- I want to have the chance to get to know my friend again. She is very precious to HIM and ---- I am counting on God's timing being PERFECT in this!



But when we get to heaven don't be surprised if you STILL hear me say to Jesus, "CANCER S__KS!"

Mister-understood....

I decided after the wonderful time I had yesturday with the Viking Victor in my house that --- TODAY would be different. It helps that my husband left out on the next leg of his tour last night --- with each limb still intact and not one very long hair harmed on his head. But he didn't take the other male with him. LOL. So there is still just a bit of the cataclysmic bang threatening to explode in my lovely little abode..... No, not really :-)

I was just taking a few moments to sift through my son's pictures he's saved onto my computer. I do this periodically to ensure I am not caught unawares if you, as a parent, know what I mean. I stumbled across some very old interpretations of my oldest child. Remember the good old days when he would walk into the church we attend with the spiked out, jet-black hair and the 4 inch Marilyn Manson wedged boots???? eeeeek. Hated it then and I would hate it now. Remember when he just couldn't stand being agree-able or when he had to say, do and believe the bi-polar opposite of everything I, his fiercest enemy--- in his eyes, stood for? My georgous boy and I walked through a very dark time together. There were many days and nights when I cried myself to sleep thinking he would hate me forever and that he wouldn't make it through to the other side.

Well, he turns 18 in December. A couple of weeks ago a young man from our church said, "Hello, Mrs. Knapp." Honestly, I had no earthly idea who he was but I responded with a warm greeting and apologized for my lapse in memory. He introduced himself and explained, "Well I know you from watching you sing BUT.........." And here is where it started to get interesting "...I had Gregg in my cabin a few years ago and Kathryn is my sister."

"Oh,... I see." He then went on to inquire about Gregg. I told him he was doing really well --- 4.0 GPA, looking for a job etc, etc. The young man then stated that 'Gregg was a really cool kid' and that he thought 'he got a bad wrap when he often didn't deserve it.' Hmmm....

Gregg is extremely intelligent, and a hard-core artist. In a nutshell, he wants to shake up the norm, elicit a response and challenge the mind. He often succeeded --- but it came with a price. For a few years, Gregg used himself to interpret his art. He expressed his anger, his joy, his rebellion and his frustration through his clothes, his shoes and his hair.

But he was probably more honest than many of the kids he attended school or church with.

He put his thoughts out there, good or bad, and he challenged the status quo. The thing I appreciated, even in his dark days, was that he was who he was. He didn't apologize for it or want to --- even when I coerced. He was making the journey --- that IS his alone to make. He still doesn't believe everything I do. That's okay. Because there is someone who loves this kid even more than his father and I --- and HE understands my son, mister-understood, far better than you or I ever will.

For BETTER or WORSE!

First let me preface this by saying publicly --- I LOVE MY HUSBAND! But right now, at this very moment, I am having Alley McBeal visions of rendering bodily harm to my very own HIGHLANDER! GRRRRRRRRR. This morning did NOT go the way I expected it to, noooooooo, not by a longshot! He took me to breakfast, where along with our coffee and eggs, he proceeded to tell me I was acting like an ____! (insert your own adjective --- maybe the one your husband or signifigant other uses on you.) To say I was hurt was an understatement. I realize that I am NO WHERE NEAR PERFECT, but I do try my best to be moderately capable and accommodating. Those of you who know me, are aware of the fact that my husband is out on the road --- MOST OF THE TIME. So I am here raising our brood very much like a single woman. Most days I manage well and even get everything done efficiently and with a smile on my face, but there are about 7 days a month when nature and nurture collide with a cataclysmic BANG! I do my utmost best to warn those around me, but let me just say --- not everyone heeds the warning. My kids have jokingly told my closest friend that its fun to push my buttons! Yeah, whoop-Dee-do! Well this morning, they weren't the problem. Neither were my hormones. Apparently, MY FACE WAS --- it betrayed me! I should know better by now because --- it always does! Believe me, it's not a good thing either.

Here's what occurred to the best of my recollection. My husband likes to lighten my load whenever he comes home, he wakes up baby JJ(Jaelyn ---13), makes coffee for me and then gets the rest of our off-spring moving toward the day ahead. Awesome, right? I KNOW!! All was running smoothly until he arrived home after taking baby JJ to school. He then proceeded, all warm and protective like, to warn me about the police cleverly hidden up and down the main road outside our neighborhood. Gasp. That's when the betrayal occurred. The muscles in my face took it upon themselves to contort into the 'tell me something I don't already know, lug head' position and the --- Match. Was. On! In this corner, 6ft 2in Viking Victor vs. 5ft 4in Hormonal Heroine!!!!! So. Not. Good. Arnie also informed me that the muscles in my eyes contracted in an exaggerated, albeit CIRCULAR, motion. So. Much. Worse!!!

I don't know if stellar moments like these are betrayed by YOUR face in your house but --- whew!... let me tell you, not the way to start your day around here. It followed us to the local Cracker Barrel and ruined what should have been a lovely re-start to our day. I'll say this again though --- I LOVE MY HUSBAND. I just hope he continues to overlook the 'for worse' moments and cling to the treasure of the BETTER ones. Because there will be more of them to come --- for better AND for worse.....

When Savannah Smiles....

This is a huge week for all of us here in our world: School started, my oldest kids, Gregg and Savannah, have been hustling to find after school jobs and my husband is home after a month of touring on the road with Lynyrd Skynyrd. Busy just doesn't paint the picture with enough color. It's been the fast and the furious around here. And in the middle of it all I am watching my first baby girl attempt to maneuver through a very tough transition in her personal life. Her boyfriend, Blake, is leaving this Thursday to attend UT Knoxville. Just witnessing her internal struggle is enough to make my own eyes spring leaks. I know that she will conquer this change --- they both will. I even have, down in my gut, a bit of optimism that they just may make it all the way home to a family of their very own one day. But right now, my heart is longing for something --- priceless. I'm longing for my daughter and her very special guy to know peace. Dare I even say --- to have some fun and joy these last 48 hours. I understand that this may be unattainable, after all, there is a dark cloud of the unknown on their horizon. But I also believe, for my husband, myself and now Blake, that there may be nothing on earth quite as endearing as when Savannah smiles. I have experienced its force when away from it too long. It's one of the first things her daddy longs to see when he returns to us from off the road. I wonder if it will light the way home for Blake as well. Hmmm....

Amy Whinehouse is ?????

So, in the last couple of days my youngest daughter, Jaelyn, decided that she would begin the chase of her musical dream. She, along with her older brother Gregg, created her very own YouTube channel. Her video debut was that of her very own karaoke cover of Amy Whinehouse's, You No I'm No Good --- not exactly the most innocent of songs ever penned. Well, I was truly floored, as a former professional singer myself, by the sound and interpretation my 13 year old baby was able to produce. And then it hit me? Was Amy this good at the tender age of 13? Did she use to learn the latest hit songs from the radio, run downstairs demanding an audience with her mother and father? Did they even know she was truly an amazing and gifted songstress? Or worse, did they only show her attention, love and affirmation when she performed?
I had a father like that. He believed I would be somebody IF AND WHEN I became famous. Now, don't misunderstand, I love my daddy and I wish every single day I could talk to and see him again. He's been gone from us now for 11 years and that's given me alot of time to reflect on his mistakes --- as well as my own. My daddy did the best he could with what he had been given. And consequently I have learned that I will not give love and affirmation to my children based only on the merits of their performance. I have let them know that God loves them for EXACTLY who they are --- even when they create a heap of a mess. I wonder if Amy ever heard the words, I love you --- just because. I wonder why this gifted creature, that God formed in her mother's womb, is such an utter train wreck. Maybe it was just teenage rebellion that got her started down the path of destruction she seems hellbent on traveling. But maybe, just maybe, she is hiding something much darker. I'm sure I'll never know, but I have prayed for her today as I've watched Jaelyn's video. And then I've thanked God for the gift of my daughter. And I pray even harder she will NEVER know or experience the meaning of the words to that song.

For the love of Britney!

I just don't get it. It's like watching a speeding train about to demolish a vehicle trapped at a railroad crossing! Can't anybody do something!? Is there not a single person anywhere willing to stand up for this young woman when she obviously can't stand up for herself? Oh, wait a minute, Dr. Phil attempted to intervene and we then watched some people attempt to knock him off of his high horse for publicly stating what everyone already knows --- unless they've been living under a rock! Britney is in trouble!!! With all the media coverage and eyewitness accounts of her speeding down the Hollywood freeways, why hasn't the local DMV revoked her license? If we know she's driving recklessly--- don't they? Are we really that sick of a society to just stand by and watch as this young mother self destructs? Is it a new way of getting our celebrity crazed kicks? (Of course it is!)
I want her to fall and FALL HARD! I want everyone to stop buying the albums and the perfume and the swag associated with this iconic pop princess! Why? Am I really that mean? No! I simply think that more than another meaningless round of success, Britney needs to hit rock bottom. She needs to rediscover who she was before Hollywood, record sales and paparrazzi!
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