A ROAD DADDY AND A BIRD!

As some of you may know my husband drives a bus. Not any old Greyhound bus, but the million dollar coaches associated with the music artists of today's rock and roll, pop, country and even gospel scene. He is an A-list driver who has worked for Britney Spears, N-Sync, Faith Hill, Wide Spread Panic and here for about the last four years, Lynyrd Skynyrd, to name just a few. I am privy to some back-stage spoiler but like a good wife, keep my lips closed and just nod my head like I care. LOL. Artists seem to be cut from the same narcissistic cloth, its just the way they roll. Anyway, I digress so let me get quickly to the point. Occasionally, Arnie will have a really great story. And this past week he had me close to peeing my pants while driving. Let me recount this as best I can.

2 am and the bus is rather quiet.

Arnie is driving (or flying at about ** miles per hour) down a dark desert highway with Sparky, guitarist for Skynyrd, sitting up in the captains chair listening to Arnie drone on about loving his wife and kids. (okay so maybe that isn't what they were talking about but --- don't kill my joy!)

Anyhow, out of the corner of my husband's keen eye, he saw a dark shadow zoom by and then it happened.

BAM!!! *&%!!!!!

Husband recalls his heart nearly stopping and his shorts getting wet.

Sparky lept into the entrance well turning around and around in circles doing what I refer to as the dooky-dance. You know the one where your kids run in short little circles holding their hand over their butt cuz they're gonna drop one but can't seem to get to the bathroom???? Yeah that's the dance.

In addition to the circles, he continuously mumbled and then shouted out some passionate word that takes no imagination, but rhymes with truck! Apparently, the dancing lasted a couple of revolutions as Arnie had to ask him if he was okay. Eventually he was --- after his heart rate settled down. The large OWL bit the proverbial road dust. Poor bird, he was probably just looking for a branch to perch on but ended up meeting his maker.

When the rest of the gang awakened in the am, finding the damage to the driver's side wind shield, they were amazed. After all, they commented, "we didn't even feel you swerve!" Husband answered them, "that's because I didn't!"

Isn't that the best? Those are the stories I live for. I met my husband nearly 20 years ago while he drove for the group I was touring with. He is an amazing driver and takes his job very seriously. I guess that's why he's ALWAYS asked back. He can be little irreverent at times but he's also one of the most hard-working and loyal men I have ever met. He's had me in stitches more times than I can count --- LOVE HIM!!!

So glad this bird's aim was little too high. Because I want a life-time more of those funny moments.

All joking aside. It really could have ended quite badly.

For BETTER or WORSE!

First let me preface this by saying publicly --- I LOVE MY HUSBAND! But right now, at this very moment, I am having Alley McBeal visions of rendering bodily harm to my very own HIGHLANDER! GRRRRRRRRR. This morning did NOT go the way I expected it to, noooooooo, not by a longshot! He took me to breakfast, where along with our coffee and eggs, he proceeded to tell me I was acting like an ____! (insert your own adjective --- maybe the one your husband or signifigant other uses on you.) To say I was hurt was an understatement. I realize that I am NO WHERE NEAR PERFECT, but I do try my best to be moderately capable and accommodating. Those of you who know me, are aware of the fact that my husband is out on the road --- MOST OF THE TIME. So I am here raising our brood very much like a single woman. Most days I manage well and even get everything done efficiently and with a smile on my face, but there are about 7 days a month when nature and nurture collide with a cataclysmic BANG! I do my utmost best to warn those around me, but let me just say --- not everyone heeds the warning. My kids have jokingly told my closest friend that its fun to push my buttons! Yeah, whoop-Dee-do! Well this morning, they weren't the problem. Neither were my hormones. Apparently, MY FACE WAS --- it betrayed me! I should know better by now because --- it always does! Believe me, it's not a good thing either.

Here's what occurred to the best of my recollection. My husband likes to lighten my load whenever he comes home, he wakes up baby JJ(Jaelyn ---13), makes coffee for me and then gets the rest of our off-spring moving toward the day ahead. Awesome, right? I KNOW!! All was running smoothly until he arrived home after taking baby JJ to school. He then proceeded, all warm and protective like, to warn me about the police cleverly hidden up and down the main road outside our neighborhood. Gasp. That's when the betrayal occurred. The muscles in my face took it upon themselves to contort into the 'tell me something I don't already know, lug head' position and the --- Match. Was. On! In this corner, 6ft 2in Viking Victor vs. 5ft 4in Hormonal Heroine!!!!! So. Not. Good. Arnie also informed me that the muscles in my eyes contracted in an exaggerated, albeit CIRCULAR, motion. So. Much. Worse!!!

I don't know if stellar moments like these are betrayed by YOUR face in your house but --- whew!... let me tell you, not the way to start your day around here. It followed us to the local Cracker Barrel and ruined what should have been a lovely re-start to our day. I'll say this again though --- I LOVE MY HUSBAND. I just hope he continues to overlook the 'for worse' moments and cling to the treasure of the BETTER ones. Because there will be more of them to come --- for better AND for worse.....